Building A New Normal.

Hello there,

I'm Manya Arora, a 19 year-old brown girl who is pursuing her under graduation. I'm passionate about writing and attempting to make the world a better place by sharing some of the small facts that we frequently encounter in our daily lives. Hope you’ll give it a read. 

   

                

 Have you ever felt that your comfort lies within your own pain? That your traumas, the very things you’ve tried to escape, somehow become a place of refuge? It’s a strange, unsettling feeling – one that may not be easy to admit, but it’s real. The more we revisit our past, the more we start to recognize it as a part of our identity, even if it’s uncomfortable. It’s as though we’ve become so accustomed to the weight of our pain that the thought of being free from it feels like stepping into the unknown.

For many, the process of healing can feel overwhelming, even exhausting. After a while, you begin to wonder if it’s even possible to feel “normal” again, or if the cycle of hurt will always follow. You start accepting the life that’s been handed to you, no matter how grim it feels. In fact, the misery becomes oddly familiar – like a pair of shoes that might pinch, but they’re the only shoes you know.

In the midst of this struggle, there’s a paradox. You might find fleeting moments of happiness in the very toxicity that surrounds you. Why? Because, at some point, the battle to escape it becomes too tiring. It's not that you enjoy the pain, but the effort to break free feels endless. So, in a sense, you begin to make peace with the chaos. You start to let it consume you because it’s easier than constantly fighting it. It’s a survival mechanism, not a choice.

When you think about your inner child, there’s a profound sadness that emerges. You wish you could go back, hold them, protect them, and change the course of things. But there’s also a helplessness that creeps in. You can’t undo what has been done, and the weight of that reality is crushing. The life you once imagined, full of joy, hope, and endless possibilities, seems like a distant dream – one that’s been overshadowed by the burdens you carry.

But here you are, living in a version of life that you never planned for, and it's hard to come to terms with. The acceptance of it doesn’t mean you’ve given up; it just means that, for now, you’ve learned to coexist with the discomfort. You’ve built a new normal, even if it doesn’t feel like the one you once yearned for.

What’s important to remember is that feeling trapped in your own trauma doesn’t define your worth. It’s simply a chapter in your story, not the whole book. While it may feel like you’re stuck, each day offers a chance for healing, even if it’s slow. The key is not to give up on the possibility of change, even when it seems impossible. You deserve to feel peace, and someday, with time and effort, you’ll find it—one small step at a time. 

For now, allow yourself grace. Embrace the messy, imperfect journey, and know that you’re not alone in feeling this way.